Quotes by Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. (Steven Wright)

Anywhere is walking distance, if youve got the time. (Steven Wright)

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. (Steven Wright)

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. (Steven Wright)

Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect. (Steven Wright)

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night. (Steven Wright)

Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture. (Steven Wright)

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. (Steven Wright)

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. (Steven Wright)

I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, Steven, time to go to sleep. I said, But I don't know how. She said, Its real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left. So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said I thought I told you to go to sleep.. (Steven Wright)