Quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

For me, its that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. Thats to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, theres morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I don't understand the sizes anymore. Theres a size zero, which I didnt even know that they had. It must stand for: Ohhh my God, you're thin. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, I can't believe you don't remember me! I'm like, Oh Dad I'm sorry. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. Its good for a kid to know how to make gloves. (Ellen DeGeneres)

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. Its amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mamas got the magic of Clorox 2. (Ellen DeGeneres)

Im a godmother, thats a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, thats cute, I taught her that. (Ellen DeGeneres)

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, Let there be light! And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. (Ellen DeGeneres)

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Shes ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. (Ellen DeGeneres)