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Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry

A celebrated American author, David Barry is basically known for his humorous writing and amazing columns on a variety of subjects. His column for Miami Florida newspaper is reputed as a lot of people read with a lot of interest even today. He started his career as a journalist and enjoyed the taste of success as well. However, his penchant for writing humorous ... Dave Barry biography

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1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to develop World Wide Web sites in a frantic scramble to reach the vast new consumer market of Web users. Apparently nobody has told the corporations that 93 percent of these users are in sixth grade. (Dave Barry)

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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. (Dave Barry)

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All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?. (Dave Barry)

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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. (Dave Barry)

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American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. (Dave Barry)

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And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West. (Dave Barry)

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And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report. (Dave Barry)

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Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but televisions message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath. (Dave Barry)

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Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but televisions message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath. (Dave Barry)

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As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved. (Dave Barry)

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